The Spy Who Survived
by Aku Maru
Summary: AU. All things being the same except that Severus Snape survives the encounter with Nagini. This follows the Potions Master and Harry Potter as they navigate the post war world, specifically the trouble Severus has integrating into a society that despises the concept of him. Bonding, no slash.
1. The Time of Silence

**Author's Note:** I have long accepted that Severus Snape was going to die. Ever since Book Four I knew it was inevitable. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. So if all things remain the same except for one the small fact that Snape somehow survives the snakebite, how might the world of Harry Potter change?

And (insert massive groan) I'm creating a Snape/Harry bonding fic. Oh well, how times change.

Also this story begs to be written in snippets rather than a continuous plot. It will follow a time line but transitions will be abrupt in places.

**Disclaimer:** Let J.K. Rowling be proud of her work and let us be forever grateful she lets us play with her toys.

**The Spy Who Survived**

**Chapter One: The Time of Silence**

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

The-Boy-Who-Lived.

The-Spy-Who-Survived.

They were titles. Titles that meant everything to the world out there. Harry pillowed his head in his arms as he sat in the private room of St. Mungo's Hospital. It had been difficult to even find a room that could be completely shut off from the rest of the hospital. But he had gotten his way. After all he was The-Boy-Who-Lived and the one who destroyed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And now he was sitting next to the bed of a man he had once hated. Life dealt odd turns.

The man on the bed moved slightly and Harry shot up to see if the wizard was awake. Under the white sheets and stained bandages, the man opened his deep black eyes and tried to focus on something solid.

"Don't move so much, professor," Harry warned softly. "Hermione got as much poison as she could out. And tried to stop the bleeding. But you're going to be in a rough way for a long time to come. I can get the staff to come see you, if you want." Harry stood but saw a hand snaked out from the sheets as if to grab him to stay. He was guessing and perhaps Snape just wanted his wand. "Or we can wait a bit longer. It's not like you're in danger." Harry returned to his chair and Snape seemed to relax again.

After several moments of silence Snape's mouth started to move. Harry didn't stop it in time and Snape's facial features screwed up in pain. "You shouldn't try to talk until the healers say you can. The snakebite really did almost rip out your throat. It's a wonder you survived. The antidote helped, but everyone is surprised that Hermione could keep you alive for as long as she did. Though, she's probably right in that you should have died. I mean, I can't have done you any favors by asking them to heal you. But I just didn't want another one to die because of me. Yeah, I know. I did hear what Voldemort told you before he tried killed you. But here we are." Harry sighed and poured them both some water. Snape just shook his head and returned to staring at the ceiling. Harry couldn't think of anything else to do and leaned back in his chair. "It's going on a week since Voldemort's death. I've told them that there are to be no visitors without me agreeing to them. So far they've been very good about it. And though I've told them what happened, no one has tried too hard to barge in. But then they're probably still with their families…. Mourning and all that."

Harry glanced over at his former professor. "Everyone was hurt by this war. Everyone has lost someone. But they also have people to lean on and mourn with. I've discovered everyone connected to my family is dead. Except you. Strange that. I know that the Weasley's would welcome me into their family, but it doesn't feel right. Not after all those deaths… And Hermione has her own worries. And Hagrid's busy tending to the creatures of the Forbidden Forest. So… When I realized everyone else had loved ones to find, I was left standing there alone. So, I came here with you. Not that you remember. I think this is the first time you've woken up for any length of time."

Harry had to stop his ramblings when the Medi-witch assigned to care for Snape entered. She was doing everything she could to heal the wound on Snape's neck, but it was slow going. But at least they had some prior practice from Arthur Weasley's encounter. When the bandages were changed and Snape was sitting upright to eat the food that had appeared on the table, she left. Snape was looking much better after the visit, but still as dower as expected.

"Think you can handle the meal? Looks like they don't think you'll be able to chew with all that mush. I'm going to get something myself. Anything you'd like me to bring back?" Harry's offer was met with stony silence and a deathly glare. "I'm glad you're feeling more like yourself. I'll see you later."

It had been several months now since Snape was admitted into St Mungo's Hospital. Harry had been there at least once every day. Of course with all the funerals to attend and explanations to give, Harry actually looked forward to seeing the snarky Potions Master. Once he plowed through the reporters and curiosity seekers and into the actual ward, the world was quite peaceful. He was trying to put a brave face on for the world, but he just wanted to be left alone for a while and sort things out. At least Snape hadn't demanded that Harry leave him alone. For an injured man who couldn't speak, Harry was certain Snape was capable of expressing himself if necessary. As he approached the room he heard the clatter of metal on stone.

He rushed to open the door with several staff members behind him. Snape was collapsed in a heap on the stone floor, wearing nothing but the white hospital gown. His lanky frame seemed skeletal without the heavy black robes surrounding him. Beside him was the table and food tray attesting to the fact that it had not supported the weight of the thin man. But there was no scrap of food remaining, so Harry was encouraged by that. "I'll help him to wherever he wanted to go." Harry told the staff and closed the door behind him. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say the Medi-witch didn't think you could walk by yourself." Again the deathly glare pierced through Harry's very soul. Accusing him. And betraying Snape's fears. "How about we compromise. I'll take you to the washroom and you can come out on your own." Harry spoke matter-of-factly and turned away from the figure of Snape on the floor. It brought back the memory of Snape dying in the Shrieking Shack. Something Harry desperately wanted to forget. Instead he focused on the suitcase that sat in the corner of the room. From it he removed Snape's typical suit and then placed the black batlike robe on the bed for when he emerged from the washroom. With the garments in one arm, Harry offered Snape the other. "While you're cleaning up, I'll have them sort out this room."

Snape scowled at the hand, but accepted it and Harry lifted the man up easily. Snape was very unsteady on his feet, but they made it. Harry placed the clothing on the counter and left Snape in the room. During the hour that Snape was in there, Harry heard quiet sounds of a man falling and pulling himself up again only to loose his balance once more. It was depressing, but at least it was in private without strangers to gawk at him. When Snape emerged, he wore his severe black suit, but the image was anything less than impressive. It looked like Snape was going to collapse at any moment. Thankfully he made it back to the bed uneventfully.

"So I was thinking." Harry began and had to snort at the sneer from Snape. "Yeah, odd pastime. Do you have a place to go after this? Somewhere easily kept secret? I had to get Hermione to help me out with that, but it seems the best course of action. If you have a place you can go, I'll place it under a Feilus Charm. That way you can continue to recover in private. I can't imagine the field day the reporters will have if you are seen in public so soon. I don't think St Mungo's is ready to let you go, but you have likely had enough. Let them check your wound one more time and I'll see about getting things ready for you to leave." Harry could have sworn he saw Snape nod ever so slightly. Harry nodded in return just in case and went to talk to the Head Healer.

"Done," Harry called walking into the room once again. He could see that Snape had fresh bandages on and was dressed in the robes. He was seated in the chair this time, which seemed much more suited to him than the bed ever was. "We're clear to leave. Now, did you have a place you can go? I suppose we could go back to Hogwarts if not…" Harry stopped suddenly with the charcoal black eyes pin him with revulsion. "Alright so not Hogwarts. You have a home, right?" Snape frowned but this time he gave a distinct nod. "Alright, this is another gift from Hermione. It's a portkey that just needs a location. I'm going to activate it and you just need to think of your home clearly and then it will glow red and I'll grab on to it as well." Harry removed the tea kettle from his bag to show Snape. But before he activated it, Harry made sure Snape's suitcase was in easy reach. With a tap of his wand the portkey was activated and handed to Snape. Harry waited with the suitcase in hand for the teakettle to glow. Not a moment afterwards he grabbed ahold and was pulled into the living room of a small dusty row house.

"Alright…" Harry wasn't sure what to think as he turned and viewed the overcrowded sitting room, filled with piles and shelves of books. When he turned back around, Snape had decided to rest in the chair with his eyes closed. The trip must have taken more out of him than he would have otherwise admitted. Harry didn't say anything yet. This was Snape's private home. And he was standing in it. It was not likely something Snape could ever have wanted. "I'll be outside for just a moment." Harry said hesitantly before opening the door.

He needed to be outside to preform the Fedilus charm. He didn't notice anyone in the street or any other easy to see location. Quickly he set up the charm and returned to the sitting room. He felt very uncomfortable standing in Snape's home, but he had taken this upon himself. "Alright then… Only you and I know the secret. So I guess that makes me the Secret Keeper… But here." Harry pulled out a wand from his bag and placed it on a table near Snape. "Hermione picked it up before it could be lost when the Medi-witches came to transport you to St. Mungo's. You should have it back. There is also about a week or two worth of food in here. I didn't check and I don't know how hungry you'll be. It's all prepared and only needs simple heating spells if anything. It's all got some preserving charms on them so it won't matter about storage or how long it takes to eat it. I'll go lay them out in the kitchen so you can just grab them when you want."

Harry couldn't tell if Snape was asleep or not as he spoke. He doubted it, but even a month after the injury, it was impossible to be sure of how tired a healing man could be. The kitchen wasn't much to look at. Small, dingy, cluttered. Harry cleared away a space on the counter and piled up the meals. The kitchen, well the whole house, needed a severe cleaning.

When Harry returned to the sitting room again, Snape was holding his wand reverently. "We took care of it. The Ministry wanted us to hand it over as evidence. In fact they wanted me to hand you over as well, despite what I was telling them. But then considering what the public thought they knew about you, you can't blame them. If it hadn't been for that night… those memories, I probably would still think the same." Harry pulled out the vial of silvery liquid. "Thank you… I know you thought it was your last act. But they helped. They helped me understand a lot. So… thank you… for everything I guess…" Harry stuttered to a halt when Snape focused his eyes on the vial then on Harry himself. The stare chilled Harry's bones, but he couldn't explain why. "I didn't show them to anyone else. It would have been a mess if I had. And I didn't think I could return them to you while you were unconscious. So… I've kept them safe with the wand… Just in case you survived. They're yours…. I … I was glad to see my mother…. But they are your memories. They're something I'll never have."

Snape placed the wand next to the vial and just stared at the objects in silence. Harry didn't dare interrupt. The thoughts he sensed boiling over in Snape's mind were too intense to decipher. Finally Snape picked up the vial and his wand. With a look of intense concentration, Snape eyed the room, searching for something. Harry found it first.

"I'll get it." Harry stood and pulled a stool from the corner of the room to assist in him in reaching the top of a bookshelf. Hidden behind the decorative ledge was a Pensieve. It was small and made of stone but it was clearly in working order. Harry had to wonder how Snape came to own one. He set the Pensieve on the table before Snape and returned to the sofa. He watched as the Professor poured the memories into the Pensieve before taking them one by one like silver threads of hair back into his mind. Then, Snape did something unthinkable. He removed a thread and placed it in the Pensieve and stared at Harry intently.

Harry hoped he understood and leaned down to view the memory. Suddenly he was in a cathedral full of smile people. He didn't understand and searched for Snape, wondering what the importance of this memory was. Snape was sitting in the back of the pews, as if he had come in late on purpose to avoid being seen. He was young. Probably as old as Harry was now. Turning to face in the same direction as Snape he saw a couple getting married. Beside them were Sirus and Remus and Peter. They were all smiling at James Potter and Lily Evans as they were pronounced man and wife. Harry saw them kiss then the image started to fade. Snape had left the church and thus ended the memory. When Harry returned to the real world he sat silently.

"Why did you show me that?" Harry asked pleadingly. "Of all the memories in your head, why did you show me that?"

Snape rolled his eyes and braced himself to stand. Harry didn't stop him and only sat there thinking about the memory. It had everyone he had ever lost. In the crowd he had even seen Dumbledore. Perhaps he had seen Moody, but he couldn't be sure because he was so focused on the couple at the altar. So many people that had died in the war was at that wedding. Harry knew many of them. Had heard of others. And now he knew that Snape had been to the wedding no matter how briefly. Was this … Couldn't be….

Harry glanced up when he saw movement. Snape had returned from the kitchen with one of the prepared food packages. "Is this… Are you showing me this because none of these people are alive today? Is this your idea of commiserating?" Snape frowned and shrugged. "They were all so happy… Hagrid never said you were at the wedding. But I guess they never saw you. Why did you go? Just to see her? That has to be the worst torture to put yourself through." Harry sighed and continued to watch the Pensieve deep in thought. He didn't enter the memory again, just thought about what he saw and how it was affecting him. His entire family was gone now. Dead. But there they were in one place. Something that he would always remember.

He had seen his parents in ghostly images from Voldemort's wand. He had watched Sirius fall into the Veil of death never to be seen again. He had seen Remus's body protecting his wife. His family. But the memory of their wedding was a happy time. Something Snape had carried with him for years. Snape and his love for Lily Evans.

"Thank you… It's still your memory of her. But you're right. It is nice to see them happy. Better to remember them that way. I know it is not a happy memory for you. Not really. But still, seeing my mom happy must be important to you."

There was no response from Snape as he sat there staring at the empty package. Harry was at least glad that Snape wasn't going to try and starve himself.

"Then, I'd best be off. I'll be back daily to see how you are doing. You remember what they told you at St. Mungo's. Keep the wound clean and change the dressing daily. Why am I telling you this? You're just going to ignore it. And it just seems wrong for me to be telling you anything. Oh… yeah, it's been about three months… Is there anyone you would like to see? Or know about? I think the Malfoys are doing as well as they can with the current press. Draco would at least like to visit. He's actually asked me about you several times. I was tempted, but I didn't think you would want visitors so soon after the attack. I'm sure he wouldn't mind staying with you to help out for awhile."

Again the small almost indictable shake of the head. "Alright. But you are going to have to meet with the outside world sooner than later."

"Professor Snape?" Harry called out as he entered the house. He wasn't entirely sure why he was being so polite and caring towards the obnoxious murderer. Even though he knew the full story, Harry had moments when he found his behavior wrong. When he should have let Snape die or surrendered him over to Azkaban for his crimes. But then he recalled that that Snape had done so many things that fell outside the law that had actually saved so many people's lives. Harry's first and foremost.

"Professor Snape?" he called again and heard movement from upstairs. It was a daily ritual now. Harry visited in the late afternoon for two hours then he left for his own developing family with Ginny and her clan of Weasleys. Still it was saddening to see Snape here alone with no one to share in his sorrows.

Today was slightly different. Harry was dressed in formal robes. The Malfoys had invited him to dinner. And Harry had the thought to bring along Snape. Only after Harry was assured only Lucius, Narcissa and Draco would be present. It would no doubt be an odd dinner in the first place. But there were things they had to say to each other.

Snape stood at the top of the stairs and glared down at Harry. Harry was used to this treatment by now. It had been four months since the Battle for Hogwarts and Snape had not said a word to him. Harry didn't think about it too much. The healers from St Mungo's had given Snape the clearance to speak two months ago. Harry just assumed that in his rage and humiliation at the circumstances, Snape just didn't want to. Harry was too afraid that Snape might not be able to.

"Yeah, I feel ridiculous in this thing too. But Ginny said it was appropriate for a formal dinner. So, I'm stuck in this dress robe. She says it's better to be overdressed than underdressed. Personally I'd rather skip formal wear altogether. But I'm not so lucky. I was invited to dinner with the Malfoys. Yeah, Lucius Malfoy himself gave me the invitation. He didn't seem thrilled, but said it would mean much to his wife and son. I figure it is as good a time as any to properly thank Mrs. Malfoy. She did save my life once."

Snape was slowly descending the stairs as if he did not believe what he was hearing. "No, they don't know you are coming. I decided after I got the invitation that it would be a good opportunity to reintroduce you to the world. It has been four months. And the Malfoys aren't… well okay they aren't as ostracized by the world anymore. I figured of all the people you are going to have to meet, it would be best to start off with friends."

Snape was staring down at him. Despite Harry's growth-spurt the Potions Master still towered over him. "Hey, they aren't going to care. They betrayed Voldemort in the end. For the sake of family anything can happen. So get changed. Dinner is at six." Harry moved into the sitting room to wait. It was five o'clock now so there was plenty of time for arguing.

It wasn't long before Harry heard Snape enter the room and sit in the chair. His eyes were closed as his head tilted back against the sofa. The silence here was such a nice reprieve. "I could have turned it down. But that's almost as good as me accusing them of murder. They have good intentions. And they did help me. I couldn't just deny Lucius Malfoy when he made the offer in a rather public forum. He could have sent an invitation by owl. But he asked in person. You can't simple refuse that kind of invitation. I don't really care if you would. I'm going because I said I would. I just want you to see that they're doing all right. Draco and Mrs. Malfoy have sent me owls rather frequently asking about you. Telling them that you're still healing can only last so long."

Harry was afraid to open his eyes. He didn't want to look at the accusatory glare coming from the Potions Master. He also didn't want to see how the all powerful and evil Professor had been reduced to a silent skeleton. He was actually wishing Snape would yell at him and shove him out the door. At least then things would be back to normal.

"If you are going to hide in here forever then I suppose I will just stop the Fedilius Charm and let you fend for yourself. I know you're good at that." The sound of robes rustling told Harry that Snape had stood in indignation. "Look… The situation is weird and complicated. I'd like to think I've gotten past any issues we had from Hogwarts. And no I still haven't forgiven you for killing Professor Dumbledore, but at least I understand why. Now I'm helping you hide from the world because I was the one who wanted you to live. No one else out there really cares if you live or die. In fact it would be easier if you did die. But I don't want that to happen. So I'm trying to help you. You don't have to be grateful. Just stop accusing me of ruining your life. Let the Malfoys take over if you hate me so much."

Harry had sat up in the couch and returned the glare back at Snape. It had been a rough few months. He shouldn't be yelling at Snape, but nothing made sense to him right now. No one ever spoke about how to act once the war was over. It was as if no one had really expected Harry to survive the war.

Snape however twisted on his heels and returned upstairs. Harry sighed. What was he doing anyway? He was taking care of a snarky Severus Snape and he was about to go to a dinner with the Malfoys. If he had known this was in his future after the first year at Hogwarts he would have gone and hid in the Cupboard of Privet Drive forever.

Not half an hour passed when he heard steps coming down the stairs. Had Snape actually gone to change? Indeed when Harry went to investigate he saw that Snape now wore a nicer suit and formal robe. Not nearly as elaborate as what Harry wore, but definitely nice enough for the Malfoys.

"Oh… I see you found that your entire wardrobe was in the suitcase. Professor McGonagall sent it to me while they were cleaning up. It should have everything that belongs to you. Thank you for coming… I don't know what I would do alone with the Malfoys. They still creep me out just a tad. So… are you able to Aparate?"

The dinner was quiet with polite conversation. It was awkward when Snape chose not to speak and Harry had to explain the nature of the wound. From there it went to the after dinner drinks. "I… I have to admit I am not entirely certain why you invited me here…"

"Nonsense," Narcissa immediately came to the rescue of the conversation. "It isn't easy for us to acknowledge when we need assistance outside our own family." Lucius chose that moment to turn stiffly to look out the window. Draco was closest to his mother and gripped her hand. "I know our family has not been the kindest to you. And still you aided us when there was no benefit for you. Surely you can understand that without you we would have been split up and sent to Azkaban. Lucius is trying to make his name still mean something in this world. But you can imagine how difficult it is. And Draco is alive because of you. I know it must seem trivial to you, but I could have lost both of them. That is why we must thank you. It is not a common thing for the Malfoy family to need the favor of anyone. And Severus… I am grateful to you for your help. For not refusing me out of hand. The Unbreakable Vow was a harsh method, but I'm a mother. I wanted more than anything for my son to be safe. We all bear the scars from that time. And we did not always make the best choices. It is because of you, Harry Potter, and you, Severus, that we are able to live as a family again. Can you forgive this proud family for this poor expression of gratitude?"

"Narcissa," Lucius turned from the window to watch his wife. For a moment it seemed he wanted to rebuke her for the speech but then he sighed and Harry saw something he never expected. Lucius Malfoy stood even with his wife's chair and turned his eyes towards Harry's. What Harry saw was a troubled man. A man who knew his place in the world was shattered but he was a proud man who would not bend his neck for anyone. The pain and horror in those gray blue eyes scared Harry. It was as though he could see Azkaban lurking behind the perfect blonde visage. The older man was terrified of Harry, of what Harry represented. Still he stood there beside his wife because she had been the stronger of the two. She knew what was important.

Lucius Malfoy swallowed thickly. "Mr. Potter. I am certain you are aware that I invited you here at my wife's behest. You are also fully aware that I have no liking for you nor your ideals. With that being said, you have also done a great service to this family. One which there is no possibility of repayment. That still does not lend me to like you any more. However, I understand why you did what you did and I will always be grateful." The words seemed forced from his mouth, but every syllable was true. For as long as Harry and Lucius kept eye contact, Harry knew exactly what Lucius was thinking. "Therefore, I have bowed to my wife's wishes and arranged this meeting. I do not know how to express our gratitude without it appearing false flattery to the world. I do not even know if it is possible. Not only have you saved our lives, you have also saved my family from the horrors of that prison. I have made the decision that if the Ministry refuses to accept your pardon of us, I will accept the crimes and reenter that prison in place of my wife and son. If you can ensure their freedom, I will bow to the Ministry's justice."

"Mr. Malfoy… I've already told the Ministry that they are not to prosecute you. I know you have changed from when you followed Voldemort." Harry still couldn't get over how the entire room flinched when he said that name. "They have no choice but to accept my word. Family is important. And what we do for family can be very strange indeed. I don't think a public apology will help maters either. Just… live. I guess. Mr. Malfoy, thank you for inviting me. Honestly I am glad I came. And Mrs Malfoy, I wanted to thank you as well. I know you saved me because you wanted to see your son again. But I still have to thank you. I'm glad Draco has a mother like you." Narcissa gripped Draco's hand tightly and Lucius placed his arm around his wife's shoulders. It was an oddly pleasant scene. A family, completely different from his own, but a family nonetheless. "I think, if we can maintain a polite relationship everything will work out. I know we won't ever be friends, Mr. Malfoy. But maybe we have just come to understand one another more. I don't want to break up any more families."

Lucius nodded. "Very well then. Is there anything else we can offer you this evening?"

"No. Thank you, but I must be going." Harry stood and looked towards Snape. The man had stood at the opposing wall ever since dinner had finished. Harry sighed. He had hoped Snape would speak and start to return to normal. "Professor Snape? Would you like to stay?" There was silence of course, but Harry met the black eyes and nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow then, Professor." Harry moved to exit and was immediately met by Draco.

"I'll show you out. Courtesy and all." Draco muttered. He glanced back at his professor before he escorted Harry towards the main entrance of the mansion. They had cleaned it up since the war. And it really was quite lovely. When they reached the doors, Draco stopped, though he didn't look at Harry. "Will the professor be all right? I mean he hasn't spoken all night."

"He hasn't spoken since the night the snake bit him."

Draco hung his head. "Because of me."

"How?"

"One of the Death Eaters mentioned that the Elderwand was only gained by killing the previous owner and Professor Snape killed Dumbledore. If I had done what I was supposed to, Professor Snape would be fine."

"You don't know that. And actually you're wrong. Well not entirely about the Elderwand. But about who had control of it. Voldemort thought the way you do and that's why he had Snape killed. But you did defeat Professor Dumbledore so you had the Elderwand. Then I defeated you and I got it. So if you had killed Professor Dumbledore, Voldemort would have killed you. I'm not saying which one was better because I don't like either ending. But, this seems to be okay. Snape is alive and so are you, so maybe it will be all right later."

Draco nodded as if he understood. Then he asked something Harry was dreading. "So, everyone wants to know. Why are you taking care of Professor Snape?"

"Don't tell everyone… Please. I know no one will understand it yet. But Snape is the only link I have to my family. He's the only one who really knew them that's still alive. It's strange, isn't it… I should hate him, but after everything he did to protect me over the years…. I can't. Not now that I know. I still don't really like him, but he doesn't have any family left. Nor do I… At least I can try, right?"

"You are right about one thing. That doesn't make any sense at all. But he is alive. And he seems like himself. He just won't talk."

"That's the most frustrating part. I want him to talk. I want him to yell at me and curse me out of his house. I want him back to normal. But I don't know what normal is for him. Not any more. I don't know what normal is for anyone now. No one actually talked about what they would do once the war was over. Not once. I don't have a bloody clue about what I'm doing now."

"I think that's the same for everyone. The Ministry is imprisoning the Death Eaters because they don't know what else to do with them. Normal people don't know what to do after the year of terror. You're not alone in that feeling, Potter. None of us know."

"Actually… that makes me feel better," Harry managed a small smile. He stuck his hand out for Draco to shake. "Let's start again. I'm Harry Potter. Nice to meet you."

Draco let out a small relieved laugh. "I'm Draco Malfoy. It is a pleasure to meet you as well. Perhaps we'll meet frequently."

"I hope not too frequently. Otherwise Ginny might kill me." Harry started to laugh.

"You'll just have to remind her that the Weasleys and Malfoys are related."

"Really?"

"All pureblood families are related if you go back far enough."

"I suppose that means the Potters are related to them all somehow."

"Probably. But it no longer matters, does it, Potter. You'll get that Weasley girl figured out."

"You're not going to be able to call her that much longer, Malfoy. I think we're going to be able to think about marriage soon."

Draco pulled a mock horror face followed by a shake of his head. "Whatever works for you. See, you have already figured out what to do afterwards."

"I suppose I have. Thank you, Draco. Go see Professor Snape. That is why I brought him here."

"Thank you for coming, Harry. I hope future meetings won't be so awkward." Draco nodded and left Harry to Aparate away.

"Professor McGonagall wants to see you. No she didn't tell me why, but you can probably guess. Last time she saw you, you flew out the window. I've told her the same story I've told everyone else. She believes me but I don't think she is satisfied until she sees you herself. In fact, the entire world wants to know that I'm not making up the story that Snape lives and actually saved most of Hogwarts. You're coming."

They were in the sitting room again and Harry was yelling at Snape who just stood there glaring. It had been how most of their conversations had gone. Snape still didn't talk and Harry was getting sick of it.

"I can always bring her here. Hey, you know I can. I'm the bloody Secret Keeper. I knew I should have told Draco at the dinner. Then maybe you wouldn't hide away." Harry paused when he saw Snape smirk. "Damn… I do like the quiet here." He frowned. "I wish I could hide away. I know you don't believe me, but that whole publicity you thought I enjoyed back in school…. Well I hate it. None of what they say was ever true. It's like the whole world wants to pretend nothing bad happened. And so they make up stories about me that are completely false. They make up stories about you too, you know. Some of those are grossly exaggerated. And none of them are nice. You should be glad I never bring the Daily Prophet here. Now come on, Professor McGonagall is only opening the Floo for a short time. Now you're going first." Harry shoved Snape into the fireplace before he threw down the floo powder and clearly spoke the destination. Snape of course was not happy and tried to escape but failed causing Harry to grin. Harry knew making Snape go first was the only way to ensure he made it to Hogwarts, but he also knew that there was no telling what reaction Professor McGonagall was going to have upon seeing the former Headmaster of Hogwarts. Even though she asked to see him.

Harry arrived while the two professors were staring each other down. They were in the Headmaster's office. All of the nicknacks and ornaments were in place. All of the portraits on the wall with wide awake old faces. Snape looked affronted and indignant as he stood there. If Harry were to accurately describe the emotion it was guilt. Guilt and horror disguised as indignation and anger.

McGonagall was not much better. She had her jaw set in righteous anger. Then faster than Harry could react, McGonagall slapped Snape's cheek hard. A red hand print remained on his cheek as he slowly turned his head back to a neutral position. But Snape made no move to defend himself. He stood completely still and would have allowed McGonagall to abuse him if that was what she desired. Harry didn't understand. Nor did he understand when McGonagall pulled Snape into a hug and started crying. Snape lowered them both down to a sofa and let the woman cry. He seemed just as bewildered as Harry. Together they silently waited for Professor McGonagall to finish her outburst.

"Did you not trust us? Did you not think that any of us could be trusted?" There was no answer for her demands. "First you killed Headmaster Dumbledore and all we had to go on was what was said. You became the most powerful Death Eater out there. Then you show up as the new Headmaster of Hogwarts, appointed by You Know You himself. You did everything to make yourself as hated by us as possible. Why! Why didn't you tell someone?"

"Minerva…" the voice was from a portrait. That of Dumbledore himself. "He was following orders. My orders."

"Yours…?" McGonagall transferred her attention. "And you never thought to explain after we came to clean up?"

"I'm simply a portrait."

McGonagal frowned in frustration and turned to look at Snape fully. "I won't forgive you. I know you did all that because of orders. But I can't. I wanted to believe you were protecting them… Why did you have to become so close to Voldemort? Why couldn't you have stopped this destruction before it claimed so many lives? Why did it have to end this way?"

Snape could only shrug and look away. He was sad. So very sad.

"Can't you at least say something? Explain yourself somehow? Harry said you were cleared to speak months ago."

Harry cleared his throat. "I also said that he still hasn't said a word."

"Then what's the point? He might as well have died. Yes, Severus, you might as well have died back then. You have done nothing since to help us rebuild. We have nothing but lies and rumors to go on. We actually know nothing about you. Everything you have ever done is questionable."

"Professor… He's still sorting it out himself."

"Sorting it out? What is there to sort out? Whether he did the right thing? Whether he got the right result? What is there to sort out, Severus? Answer me. Please."

Snape simply stood and walked over to the Pensieve. He removed a memory to place in the great stone urn. Then he turned to McGonagall and waited. The Gryffindor Professor looked confused for a moment and glanced at Harry, who only shrugged. This was the way Snape wanted to communicate. Harry couldn't stop him.

Whatever Snape had showed the Professor seemed to placate her. Not to the point where she understood, but to the point where she wasn't demanding answers. Snape returned the memory to his mind and went to stand beside the window overlooking the grounds.

"Sorry, Harry. It was a rough year and I am still trying to cope. I had hoped to ask Severus what his plans were in regard to this school. But I suppose that is obvious. He no longer has a place here. He never officially gave his resignation so he could theoretically claim to be the Headmaster still. I don't think anyone would support him if he did. Just like no one will support him if he asked to become a professor again. It's a shame because he was really a good potions master. Harry, has he mentioned anything to you about his future?"

"Sorry, Professor. He doesn't talk to me. Not really. Sometimes I think I can see his thoughts. But I've never talked about what he's going to do. I don't think he expected to survive this war. I mean, what is someone in his position going to do now that he's betrayed the trust of everyone who thought they knew him? Even if he made his memories public, people would still blame him. I think he plans on hiding for the rest of his life. I'm surprised he has not tried to kill himself yet. He certainly knows enough methods. I won't let the Ministry do anything to him. So… I guess we'll just have to let him hide."

"You know, Harry, that hiding doesn't work very well. Eventually someone will find out. Or he will be caught without you present. You can't keep him ignorant of how the world sees him."

"I'm not. I'm just not letting the world tear him apart."

"Harry… take care of him."

"What?"

"That is what you are doing. I'm sure he's not making it easy. But take care of him. He truly doesn't have anyone else in this world that would think kind thoughts about him." McGonagall sighed and glanced at Snape. It was obvious she didn't have many kind thoughts remaining for the man.

"The Malfoys." Harry tried to find someone that could support Snape.

"Are in a precarious position themselves and cannot handle the pressure of being the Spy who Survived's caretakers. You know as well as I, that spies are never accepted back into society. No matter how much good they accomplished. Severus barely survived the first downfall of Voldemort. And he had Dumbledore's name to hide behind. Now he has yours. He is a strong man, a proud man… but he will never be able to stand alone."

"I don't understand."

"I'm sure you do. Just think about what you know about Severus Snape. Everything you know. Everything he has shown you. Everything you have heard. You'll understand. I don't think he will ever return to Hogwarts now."

"You can't say that for certain. The war is still too fresh in people's minds. In a few years I'm sure things will be better."

"Sadly no one truly forgets a traitor," Dumbledore was the one who answered.

"That isn't much help, Professor," Harry commented to the painting. He turned to McGonagall. "Well? Is that all you wanted to say to him?"

"I think that's all that can be said. If he changes his mind and things work out, maybe he can come back. But honestly Harry, you didn't see what last year did to this school. I know you where there for the battle, but before that. Your friends would have told you, but living it… trying to survive it. Trying to protect the innocent children… It's more than most of us can bear. Reopening the school will be one of the most difficult things I will ever do. I thought that was when we buried Albus… but this is worse. Not only do we not have Albus, we do not have the staff we need. I can't think of anyone who really wants to return here to teach. I don't want to return here to teach."

"It will be alright, Professor. You'll have people. I'm sure of it."

"I'm glad you're optimistic about this. Perhaps you could join us?"

"Me? Teach? You're joking right? I never even studied my seventh year. Though perhaps you could ask Hermione. I'm sure she'd like to help."

"I suppose we should seek out prospective teachers with more studious reputations." McGonagall gave a small smile. "Harry… I'm glad you survived. I still remember the night Albus and I left you with your Aunt. We had such high hopes for you. I'm sorry we didn't provide a better environment for you. But I am glad you turned out to be such a strong young man."

"Uh… thank you?" Harry was stunned. He had no idea what to say to this. "So… does that mean you will be the Headmistress for this on coming year?"

"At the moment it looks like it. I haven't been able to find anyone else who wants the job."

"You'll make a great Headmistress. I'm sure of it."

"Thank you for the thought, Harry." McGonagall stood and glanced again at Snape with a frown. "I'll let you return when you're ready. I need to see to the repair work. Feel free to wander the grounds. The Floo will be open for another three hours. And the password is Lemondrops." She nodded to Harry then left the office.

There was silence in the office. Harry took the time to meander through the little odds and ends. Remember the times he had been there before. Just lost in thought. He was certain Snape was going through the same cycle of memories. Only his must be a much longer list and far more sinister. After what had to be an hour and not a flicker of movement from Snape, Harry came to stand beside him. Out the window they could see the grounds being restored to their former glory. All evidence of the battle was gone. The castle itself still bore scars. But the wizards were doing a great job of returning its charm.

"Well? Do you want to stay?" Nothing. "Considering a proper resignation notice perhaps?" That got him a twist of the head and a small scowl. "Hey you could always claim that your position as Headmaster was completely legal and you want to keep it. It was done in accordance to the Ministry's laws right? Doesn't that make you the youngest Headmaster ever?" Harry grinned for a moment. "I guess I need Hermione an her 'Hogwarts: A History' to be sure. You couldn't have been all that bad… I mean considering the circumstances, yeah you are going to be remembered as terrible. But the students I talked to were kind of glad you intervened, even if it wasn't as pleasant as they wished. Maybe you could try again… have a normal year. Show them that you do care."

Snape didn't answer of course. His eyes went back out the window for another long period of time. Then without warning he walked over to the Pensieve. Harry followed out of curiosity. Snape didn't always share his memories, but for him it seemed like compensating for the lack of speech. Harry wasn't disappointed. A thick strand of memories left Snape's head and entered the Pensieve. After a moment to steady himself Snape actually gripped Harry's arm and pulled them face first into the Pensive.

Together they were standing in the Headmaster's Office. It seemed void of life. Harry looked to Snape standing next to him and saw that his gaze was directed to that very window where he had been standing earlier. Harry redirected his gaze and saw, hidden in the curtain, was Headmaster Snape. The memory was staring out the window but it seemed he didn't want to be seen so he used the folds of the dark curtain to obscure the view. Harry wondered who would actually be able to look up and see anyone from the ground. Harry didn't take any more clues from Snape and went directly to the Headmaster. Harry gazed out the window and tried to find what was so intriguing about the scene.

"The children no longer play out on the grounds. In fact they no longer spend any time beyond the supposed safety of their Common Rooms than they must. If I was able to, I would get rid of the Carrows. But I'm not even allowed that privilege. I'm no Headmaster. Just a puppet. Two sets of strings and both pulling from beyond the grave. I didn't even want the position, but it is the only way to do any good. I am resigned in the fact no one will know. That is what I wanted after all. For no one to know." The voice of the Headmaster was quiet, but because Harry was so close he could hear every word. After a moment the scene changed just slightly. A different day, a different time, but the exact same scene. And the speech was much the same. Then again. And again. So many variations of the scene and the speech that Harry wondered if Snape had said this every day while Headmaster.

Harry watched the multitude of scenes play out quickly then they were thrust out of the Pensieve. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't be sure if this was the memory that Snape showed to McGonagall or not. Either way it was important to Snape. "You didn't want to forget… You were just as lost and confused as the rest of us. Even if you knew what was going on and trying to set up the events as they had to be. Somehow… that actually makes me feel better about it all. I still think you were the Headmaster that Hogwarts needed. How about we talk to the Ministry and see if they will allow a hiatus. Give you a few years to figure out what to make of your life."

Snape only rolled his eyes.

"You're probably right. They're not going to be interested. But maybe the fact that I used to hate you and I am now promoting you might make a difference. Let's go. I promised Ginny I'd take her shopping in Diagon Alley."


	2. The Time of First Words

**Author's Note:** I never thought I would have more followers than reviews. Gratifying as it is, I miss hearing what people think.

**Chapter Two: The Time of First Words**

"I mean seriously! Why haven't you said a word? I can almost get why you are still hiding away in this house all this time, but not speaking? There are a few people out there that actually want to thank you. We might not know what we're doing, but at least we're trying to move past Voldemort. I'm sorry to say that you still seem consumed by it. And I can't believe I've spent six months basically talking to myself while I'm here. The healers even said last week that you were perfectly capable of speaking. No damage remaining at all. So why do I have to deal with you being silent? Say something!"

"And what would you have me say?"

"I don't know. A response or something. Something so I don't think I'm going completely crazy."

"Yet have you really needed a vocalization to carry on the conversation?"

"Huh? What?" Harry turned to actually look at Snape. Had the man actually spoken or was the glimmer of thoughts messing with Harry's head and turning them into sounds.

"You haven't actually needed me to speak to understand me."

"No… I suppose not."

"What amazes me is that you have not truly wondered why." This time Harry was silently staring at Snape with a look of frank confusion. "I am certain you remember your Occlumency lessons as well as the description of Legilimency. Your mind is still quite open despite all that you've been through. However, it seems you have taken to the basics of Legilimency far more easily than you ever took to Occlumency. I must say I was quite astounded when I discovered that. All it took was simple direct thoughts and you managed to pick them up."

"Wait…. You mean to tell me that I was using Legilimency to understand you all this time?"

Snape shrugged. "Partly. You have the crude beginnings. And I was spoon feeding you the thoughts."

"Hold on. You never liked to have your thoughts seen. Why are you doing it now?"

"Frankly? To see how far your basic skills could reach."

"So you refused to talk because of your curiosity?"

"No. I refused to talk because the pain of talking outweighed the benefit of trying. Though I did preform the speech exercises the healers prescribed."

"When?"

"During the many hours of the day that you were not present. Which was quite a blessing."

"Well, now that you can speak, you can tell your own story." Harry remarked one afternoon while he shared tea with Snape. Again it was a very odd experience no matter how frequently was over. Changing seven years of hatred wasn't easy and forgetting it was next to impossible. Snape only glanced over at him, no glare, just waiting for the rest of the statement. "The Ministry has been wanting to question you ever since you were announced living. Now they're so desperate that they don't care which Department does it, so long as they can get an official statement."

"Here's my statement then: I wish to be left alone."

"That's not going to work. Besides, I've already spoken to a few people I know and they seem willing."

"Speaking about what?"

"About having a private interview with a set list of questions which is overseen by an approved of official of the Ministry."

"Who did you have in mind? I highly doubt they'll want anyone but the most hardened Auror to sit in."

"Actually, I convinced them to let Neville Longbottom do it."

Snape raised an eyebrow in surprise. Harry wasn't sure what he was surprised about but waited. Curious. Snape finally asked, "Longbottom managed to make it into the Ministry?"

"Yes. The Department of Magical Flora and Fauna."

"That hardly seems high in the list of important people. I am surprised you did not consider the current Minister of Magic."

"Kingsley Shacklebolt and I agreed that it would conflict with your histories if he was to visit. You know, Order of the Phoenix and all. He thought someone with less publicity would be able to get the job done. Neville has been helping us track down the Death Eaters, but has much preferred working with all the dangerous plant life out there. So, I've invited him to my house to conduct the interview."

"I am assuming you were going to inquire as to whether I desired to participate eventually."

"That's what I'm doing now."

"I decline."

"You can't decline. You need to get your view of events out there."

"Why? Your view has sufficed so far."

"Don't you want people to understand that you aren't an insane murderer?"

"Your rhetoric might have been successful had I died. However the fact that I am still alive will mean no end to the questions. I don't want my story to be plastered on the front page of the Daily Prophet."

"I seem to recall you desperately desiring the Order of Merlin for capturing an escaped Sirius Black. I bet anything you want to be acknowledged. Come on. Let Neville ask the questions and if it is truly as bad as you fear we'll just burn the parchment and say you refused to cooperate. And to try again in a few months after the solitude gets to you."

"You are not going to let this go, are you?"

"No. Because I would really like your help in capturing the last few holdouts. There are several Death Eaters that we are unable to find and I think you know of a few places we aren't looking."

"Indubitably." Snape placed his teacup back on the table and sat in silence. After a while he looked back to Harry. "You are certain that only Mr. Longbottom will be attending?"

"Of course. Who would be as unthreatening as Neville? And I won't let anyone else from the Ministry in. Though, Hermione might want to see you. You should see her. Since she was the one who came up with most of these safety measures."

Snape sighed and Harry could tell he relented just from his posture. "Very well. When did you arrange for this interrogation?"

"It's not an interrogation. Just dinner with some old friends."

Snape knew this would not end well, but what else could he do?

Half an hour later, Severus was sitting in the home of Harry Potter. One event he had never had on his to do list. "Godric's Hollow… But I suppose magical communities are harder to come by now a days." He managed to limit his sneer. His discomfort was quite high already and reverting to those defensive mechanisms would not help.

"Yeah. Apparently the land that my parent's house stood on still belonged to the family and then to me. I just had to find someone to build a new house. I'm not sure about staying… It just feels odd. But then I'm not sure who would buy a place with such a history." Harry chatted away while they waited for Longbottom to arrive. To Severus's dismay it was a couple of witches who walked through the door.

"Ah, Professor Snape," Molly Weasley greeted him warmly. She always tried to make him feel welcome even when she knew well and good he was anything but. "I am glad you are doing well. Don't mind me. I'm just bringing dinner. Young witches and wizards, still don't know how to cook for themselves yet." Thankfully Mrs. Weasley understood how tense he was and bustled past to the kitchen.

Hermione Granger had no such common sense. "Professor Snape. Thank you for coming. I really did want to see you ever since Harry said you were out of the hospital. I hope the charms are working."

"Yes, Miss Granger, they are. I was told you were the one to thank for the level of security I am afforded."

"Ah… we thought your privacy would be important while you healed. So we could get the world ready for your side of the story."

"Thoughtful… Though I must ask. With Hogwarts insisting on reopening this year, why are you not attending classes?"

"Oh… Professor McGonagall allowed me leave to come visit you, if you ever chose to leave your home. I very much wanted to see that you were doing well. I hope you don't mind."

"No I don't suppose I should. I have also been told you were the one who allowed me the chance at surviving. So thank you." Since he had risen in the presence of the two witches, he bowed slightly towards Hermione.

The young witched blushed embarrassed. "It was what anyone should have done. I'm just glad it was enough."

Severus simply nodded. He returned to his seat and waited for the next interruption to his silence. Thankfully the small crowd of Gryffindors had moved off to the kitchen to help Mrs. Weasley, leaving Severus in the sitting room alone. He was not looking forward to the dinner or the interrogation. It wasn't long until there was a knock on the door. Though Severus was closest this was not his house and he waited until Potter greeted the new guest before standing. Unless Potter had invited more people than he had let on, Longbottom should be walking through that door and they could finish this annoying business.

Thankfully Neville Longbottom was the one to accompany Potter through the archway. "Uh… Hi, professor…" Longbottom seemed as insecure as ever.

"Mr. Longbottom. You seem to be doing well outside of Hogwarts."

"Um, I suppose so. It's a little strange to be honest with you. I don't think I'm cut out to work with the Aurors, but I'm glad to help."

"Then I suppose congratulations are in order." Severus was trying to keep the sneer out of the words, but habits were hard to break. Additionally he was not pleased at all to see Longbottom. It meant another interrogation. But at least it wasn't with the older Aurors who would stop at nothing to get the answers they desired. At least Longbottom might accept answers as they were rather than find a way to twist them to mean what he wanted them to mean.

"No… Not really. Thank you though. Um… Professor Snape…? Can I ask you something? It's not going to be recorded so you can answer however you want. I know the questions are an annoyance to you, but they will help clear your name in the eyes of the Wizarding World. But I wanted to ask… Did you want the Headmaster position at all?"

Severus was stunned. This was the first question the Longbottom boy had for him. The one he thought was most important. Severus had no idea how to answer. Truthfully was the only manner that came to mind. "No. I did not want the Headmaster position. However, it was the only way. You do not simply turn down an honor bestowed by the Dark Lord and Headmaster Dumbledore still had work that needed to be done. But if I could have, I would have refused the appointment."

"But you couldn't. Both because of Voldemort and Dumbledore…" Longbottom paused and looked to the briefcase in his hand. "I'm sorry, Professor. We certainly didn't make it any easier for you."

"No you most certainly did not. But you did exactly as I expected. And you shouldn't have done anything but what you did."

"Professor?"

"I quite clearly stated that your performance over the past year was thoroughly anticipated and expected. I do not need to explain to you many of your anti.." Snape seemed to swallow his words. "Anyway the expression of your view points were partially ignored over the term."

"I understand, Professor." Longbottom nodded. Severus noted that Harry Potter had been silent during the exchange. The boy had not suffered the pain and horrors Longbottom had during that year. They had separate terrific tales.

"Right then," Potter sensed a pause in the conversation and decided to interrupt. "Let's see if Mrs. Weasley is finished unpacking dinner. She seemed horrified that I had nothing to offer guests." He led the way to the dining room while Longbottom hastily placed the briefcase next to a chair before following.

Severus was slower to follow. He did not want to participate in this mockery. He should not be having dinner with Potter. He should not have to answer questions about his actions over the past several years and in particular the last several months. And he should not be alive in the first place.

"Professor Snape?" a woman's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Severus?" He lifted his head to focus on the speaker. Molly Weasley was standing beside him looking concerned.

"Mrs. Weasley. I apologize for my lapse in attention. Was there something you wished to say?"

"Only that it won't be as bad as you are likely imagining. They might have survived and won this war against You-Know-Who. But they only know part of the horrors that took place. Try not to hold that against them. You know as well as I that these children should not have had to fight in a war that began before they were born. Whatever the Minister has asked Neville to ask you about… He isn't the one who came up with the questions. He won't understand many of them. In fact I'm sure he will understand your reasons better than anyone else."

"Mrs. Weasley…."

"Please, I hope we can be less formal. Call me Molly."

Severus sighed and relented. "Molly, your concern is most appreciated. But I do not have a place in this world. I never have. No amount of words is going to change that."

"That is where you are wrong, Severus. You changed the course of history. You did what Albus Dumbledore could not. You facilitated the downfall of Voldemort. It might not have been pretty. But then the truth behind victories usually isn't very heroic. Don't hold your grudges against the children. Be honest and direct like you always are. They won't understand sarcasm and snide remarks right now. They're too young."

Severus eyed the witch before him, impressed. "Very well. I will attempt to be civil. But I do not understand why Potter insisted on dinner."

"They want to talk without the pressures of legalities. You can use this opportunity to tell them your story rather than answer questions."

"I'm not used to telling stories. I've really only ever encountered interrogations."

"Trust me, Severus. They do not know what interrogations are. Not like you. Think of it more as an interview. Neville will be asking the questions and directing the course of the conversation. Hermione will be recording everything that is said. Everything. Including what Neville and Harry and she says. And Harry will be there to ensure your rights as a human being are not violated. He does not want you to go to Azkaban Prison for any reason."

"I can only hope you are correct."

"Go enjoy dinner. It might not be what you're used to at Hogwarts, but I hope it is to your liking."

"I am sure that after years of experimenting with that family of yours, it will be delicious." Severus nodded his acceptance of Molly Weasley's words. Entering the dining room was a different experience. Harry Potter was at the head of the table as expected for this was his house. Hermione was to his right with Neville next to her. The only other seat was to Potter's left. Harry motioned to the open chair and again, Severus relented. Severus was already having trouble not superimposing Albus Dumbledore's image over Harry Potters, but certain actions made it difficult.

The conversation occurred around Severus. He had no real interest in the activities of the current Hogwarts Professors. Or the search for Death Eaters who managed to escape after the fall of the Dark Lord. For some reason Severus was still uncomfortable with the reference of Lord Voldemort.

"Professor Snape?" someone called to get his attention. He glanced from where he was picking at the meal. Not because it wasn't good, but because he could not stomach the food with his self created tension. It was Longbottom again. "Professor, I was wondering what you were willing to tell us about the time you were Headmaster of Hogwarts."

"I'm not particularly willing to tell you anything. Nor do I know what you would consider interesting or important that Potter has not already informed you of."

Longbottom nodded. "I know. Harry told us about your memories. Mainly because he thought you were going to die and he wanted someone to know the truth. So was there anything you did that was not on Professor Dumbledore's or Voldemort's orders?"

"No. Not that I am aware of. Everything was either to protect the students as much as I could. Or to appear to be advancing the Dark Lord's propaganda. Very little of what I did was based on personal motive."

"And what about before? When you were so hard on me during school, what was the reason for that?" Longbottom had courage to be asking this question. Even Potter and Granger looked surprised he brought this up. He had come a long way since his defiance of the Dark Lord. "Is it because of the prophecy? That Voldemort could have chosen my family as his main target instead of Harry's?"

"I cannot say for certain. Yes, because if the Dark Lord chose your family as the greatest threat then Lily might still be alive. No, because you were the easiest target in your year. Timid people in Gryffindor do not last long without something to rally against. But I have to admit I am impressed that you found a possible link to the prophecy."

Longbottom flushed in embarrassment. "I… alright. I guess that makes sense. Um, Professor are you going to refer to Voldemort as the Dark Lord during the interview?"

"How else would I refer to him?"

"How about just Voldemort?" Potter asked simply. Severus just gave him a withering stare.

"It would be better. I mean… only Death Eaters call him the Dark Lord. If you were to go on public record as calling him the Dark Lord then people will still wonder if you support his cause. Regardless of what you actually say." Longbottom seem hesitant with the explanation.

Severus frowned at the awaiting silence. They did have a point. He would come across as Dumbledore's man easier if he used the word Voldemort. But he had been conditioned into using the Dark Lord. It was like trying to get someone from stop using You-know-Who. There was a level of terror behind that name that people didn't want to call down upon them. The normal wizarding population used He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as a cover and the Death Eaters used the Dark Lord. It was going to be a long process to change. "If you are going to record this verbatim then it might be best to include a note somewhere that the subject attempts to use the term … Lord…. Voldemort but because of conditioning the phrase the Dark Lord is the first choice of references." Severus clearly had difficulty using the name, but he would try. This was a different world. Different rules. And Severus wasn't sure he would be able to survive it.

"We can do that. We're just looking out for you." Longbottom agreed. The dinner seemed to have concluded at that point. "Perhaps we could use your sitting room, Harry. I'll get the papers ready. Thank Mrs. Weasley for me. The dinner was great." Longbottom excused himself quickly. He seemed as nervous as Severus was anxious.

Hermione stood and motioned to Severus. "Let's go with him. Harry will clean up and get tea ready. By then we'll be set up to record." Severus went with them. It was going to be a long night. One he wished he could avoid by having his vocal cords damaged beyond repair.

When everything was ready and everyone was seated comfortably, Longbottom began. "On the 14th of December in the year 1998 I, Neville Longbottom from the Department of Magical Flora and Fauna, open the interview of Severus Snape, former Headmaster of Hogwarts, former Potion's Master of Hogwarts, in regards to his actions as a Death Eater under Lord Voldemort and as a spy for Albus Dumbledore. Recording the interview is Hermione Granger and witnessing the interview is Harry Potter." Longbottom did have an authoritative voice with the official opening. "For the record, Professor Snape, how do you refer to Voldemort?"

And that was how he could get around using the more natural title the Dark Lord rather than frustrating himself with trying to use the name Voldemort. "As a Death Eater I was forced to use the term Dark Lord as a sign of respect. I have only been able to speak for about two months and have not had the time to recondition myself to using the proper name. I will continue to accustom myself to using the name…. Voldemort…. But in the meantime the term the Dark Lord will be the first identifier I will come up with. Much like those who use the term You-Know-Who or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, it will take time to overcome the fear attached to the name of … Lord Voldemort."

"Thank you Professor Snape. Now, the Ministry has collected a list of questions they desire answers to. Please answer them as completely and as honestly as you possibly can. I may ask follow up questions not listed here in order to explore certain topics. First question: When did you join the Death Eater?"

"1978"

"When did you join Albus Dumbledore?"

"The end of the year 1980."

"Why did you join Albus Dumbledore?"

"Because the Dark Lord chose to target James and Lily Potter and their son Harry Potter after hearing the part of the prophecy I related to him. Earlier in that year I overheard the conversation between Dumbledore and Trelawney but was thrown out of the establishment before I heard the entire conversation. I reported what I knew back to the Dark Lord because at the time I believed that was the only path to recognition. Later when I learned the Dark Lord chose the Potters as the threat over the Longbottoms, I begged the Dark Lord to spare Lily's life. Lily had been my only childhood friend before going to Hogwarts. I loved her and did not want anything to happen to her. I knew the Dark Lord could not and would not spare her life because she would protect her family. So I went to Dumbledore and begged him to do something to protect her. In return for his protection Dumbledore asked me to relate to him all of the Dark Lord's movements. It was the only option for me to live and hope that Lily lived as well." Severus tried to speak without giving away too many details. It was humiliating enough to have to sit through this interview, but if it allowed him a chance at a quite uninterrupted life he would suffer through it just like he suffered the pain and tortures at the hands of the Dark Lord and Dumbledore for the life of Lily Evans.

"Did you at any point think to return to Voldemort?"

Severus had to sit in silence as he pondered that question. Slowly, "No…" He took a deep breath before continuing. "Voldemort had killed Lily. I had no reason to ever return to him. I thought him destroyed the first time until Dumbledore explained his theory of the Horcruxes. Then the only choice Dumbledore gave me was to stay at Hogwarts and protect Lily's son."

Harry Potter interjected, "I thought that was your choice. Not something Dumbledore forced on you."

"It was my choice, Potter. But Dumbledore didn't think I could because you were also the son of James Potter. It didn't matter what he thought. I would have done the same anyway because of Lily. I wronged her out of my arrogance and humiliation and I have spent the rest of my life trying to seek redemption for it. But that is impossible when the one you wrong is dead." Severus snapped at Potter.

"Um, back to the official questions. And Harry, try not to interrupt again. Let's see, the next question… Why did you kill Albus Dumbledore?"

"Because he had ordered me to. There are several reasons surrounding that decision. But simply, it was because he ordered me to. Dumbledore had suffered a debilitating curse that summer from one of the Horcruxes. When he came to me the best I could do was delay the curse, not break it. Dumbledore was fully aware that he was going to die slowly and painfully by the end of that year no matter what was done. We also had the knowledge that the Dark Lord had ordered Draco Malfoy to kill Dumbledore. The Headmaster did not want Malfoy to suffer from committing a murder and ordered me to preform the deed in his place. Also Draco's mother, Narcissa Malfoy, had bound me to an Unbreakable Bond in order to protect her son from the wrath of the Dark Lord. She had me promise to help Draco complete his task or to complete it for him should he fail. Both Dumbledore and Narcissa seemed to believe Draco would fail. I did not want to commit the murder, but I was left with no choice. It was quite certain at that point that if any other Death Eater got ahold of Dumbledore, they would make the Headmaster suffer before killing him. I killed Dumbledore only because of his order. I told him blatantly that I did not want that task, but he would not let me out of it."

And so it went. One question after another well into the night. The Ministry was thorough. Severus answered every question even when it pained him to do so. The young wizards and witch could see the fatigue on his face as he relived his painful history. They were as glad that the interview was over as Snape. Longbottom concluded the interview then turned to Severus. "I am sorry to make you relive all that. I really do hope they do not ask for anything else. If I can do anything to help you, let me know. It's the least I can do for causing you all that trouble last year."

"And not the years before? If that is the offer than I suppose I could accept." Severus stood with Longbottom and after a moment reached out to shake his hand. He had no idea if the boy would reciprocate. "You have indeed done your parents proud, Mr. Longbottom."

Neville Longbottom blinked in surprise at both the statement and the hand. But he did firmly grip the Potion's master hand. "Thank you. Now that I'm not in school I can say this. You really were a good teacher, if impossibly terrifying."

"It's the one year anniversary, Professor. They expect the survivors to attend. It's not like you're being asked to stand up there and speak to the crowd." Harry was once again in Snape sitting room. This time they were arguing over attending the memorial service for the Battle of Hogwarts. Snape sat in his chair quietly though glaring at Harry frequently. Harry had come to realized that Snape used Harry's passing accomplishment at Legilimens to avoid saying what was really on his mind. "I even got word from Draco that the Malfoys are attending the ceremony. They declined the invitation to the reception, which I don't blame them. You can leave with them after the ceremony. But you need to at least attend. Show the world that you are glad that Voldemort is gone and help them start to heal. If you can put the past behind you then so can they."

"Is that what you think, Mr. Potter? That by merely attending some public event, I will show the wizarding world I have become one of your adoring fans? No, Mr. Potter. My attendance will be seen as a mockery of their show of respect. They will use the event to pursue questioning my loyalties and demand recompense for the evils I have done. And you wish to place me in the middle of that throng?"

"It won't be as bad as all that." Snape merely lifted an eyebrow at Harry's declaration. "I won't let it become like that." At this Harry noted a sigh from Snape and a distinct closing off of his mind. Something had pushed Snape into resignation. "Professor Snape? If you do not want to come why do not just refuse and kick me out of your house for even suggesting it?"

Snape sat silently, his eyes focused on the Penseive that permanently graced the coffee table now. "Don't you already have an explanation for that as well?"

"It's not my explanation. It's one I hear circulating through the Ministry. Particularly those who remember the first fall of Voldemort. They think I'm protecting you like Professor Dumbledore did. And some rumors suggest that I will be using you like Dumbledore."

"At least you seem to be aware of the pattern."

"But you aren't… I mean… Surely you don't think you're in the same position as you were during the first fall of Voldemort?"

"The same position, no. I know I am not in the same position. But similar."

"I don't follow."

"Of course you don't. Thickheaded as you are. Have you not realized that my entire life has been devoted to someone?" Snape said painfully, not wanting to admit this part of his life.

"I can't say I paid attention."

"But the others most certainly have. Tell me, how many times have you heard them compare you to Dumbledore? How many times have you heard them refer to the trust Dumbledore had in me as nothing more than him manipulating the conditions for my freedom?"

"Are they wrong?"

Snape was silent again, watching the empty Penseive. "No. They aren't completely wrong."

"Is this why you tolerate me? Why you constantly deal with me entering your home without invitation. Constantly pulling you to events you have absolutely no interest in attending… You are also comparing me to Professor Dumbledore." It wasn't a question this time. Harry watched as Snape's face went from a scowl at the mere suggestion to carefully blank. That's when Harry knew for certain. "You're falling into that same pattern. Why?"

"It's easier to follow what you know. I have only known this. You saw the memories. Have you not wondered why I followed the orders of a blasted portrait? I was rather forced into Dumbledore's service with my own pleads for Lily's life. I took the Dark Lord's mark willingly just to be recognized as being worth something. Before that Lucius Malfoy managed to control every aspect of my life. And finally I would have done anything, absolutely anything, for Lily. So yes, it would be quite easy to treat you in the same manner, seeing as how you have assumed control of my life." Snape raged quietly.

"Me?"

"Tell me, Potter. What did you think you were doing when you made all those decisions regarding the security around this house, or the hospital stay, or all of those social gatherings you've insisted on since then?"

"I thought you hated me."

"Of course I hate you. You are the living embodiment of everything I could never have." Though the voice was bitter and angry, Snape's posture suggested defeat. "And you now have taken total control over my life."

"Sorry… I … I don't know what I wanted… I watched as Voldemort tried to kill you and I couldn't stand the thought of you dying alone. Then when Hermione said she might be able to stop the bleeding and hold off the poison, I immediately wanted to help. Then I saw the memories. That's when I knew you of all people should be allowed to live after this war. After everything you did, you deserved it. Without anyone there related to you, I was the only one to advocate for your treatment. I guess I was also the only one left to advocate for your actions. Ever since you woke up though, I have been waiting and wanting for you to go into a rage about me being here and to throw me out. There were times when I thought you would, but then you just stopped. I never even considered the fact that you might place me in the same category as Dumbledore."

Harry took his customary seat on the sofa and kept his eyes on the Penseive as he thought of the past year and how he had determined the next steps in the Professor's life. It wasn't what he wanted. It wasn't what he intended, but in his effort to get the world to see Severus Snape as he saw the man now it had happened. He had conveniently ignored all the signs until now, trying to remain ignorant. People had warned him and now he had to face it. "I'm sorry, Professor Snape. I don't want to be compared to Professor Dumbledore in that respect." He stood again and walked to the door to show himself out. "I have to be going."


End file.
